Sunday, December 23, 2007

Sometimes

Sometimes you think you are smart. You have wrong notions about yourself, and there is no one to correct you. You live your entire life with those wrong notions and die with them.

Sometimes you think you are lonely. You know you are, and you desperately try to get rid of either the loneliness or at least the thought. You find someone and the loneliness evaporates. Or you find some engagement and the thought vanishes. But sooner or later, that someone goes away. Or they find some engagement. Or your engagement finishes off. You are back to being lonely again.

Sometimes you go to bed early. You generally do not. Often you don't even try. Keep up and waste time. You vow everyday you'll sleep before midnight or do something worthwhile, but you somehow never manage that.

Sometimes you try not to think. Generally you keep pondering and meditating and musing and reflecting and mulling over and ruminating and contemplating. Often you don't even try not to think. Your thoughts keep fluttering randomly. Keep disturbing you. You daydream or get depressed or plan or fret.

Sometimes you love someone. You know they do not, but you do. Unrequited is the word. But that knowledge doesn't stop you from loving them even if you know there is no future.

Sometimes someone does that to you. You reciprocate back. But you still do not hold your feelings back for the old one.

Sometimes you watch movies. You generally do not. But you always want to. And sometimes you find company. And you watch them. Then they go to sleep. You stay up. Chat with a close pal. Start thinking. And then you compose this "off the split-ends of your long hair" post.

24 comments:

Violet said...

Sometimes you read blogs, and sometimes you put a comment :)

Anonymous said...

Sometimes u read randomly anyone's blog and SOMETIMES U FIND ... few lines really close to ur heart :)

R said...

Achchha likha hai...i dont agree with some of it though:

1. smartness is a very relative concept and the quotient measured by one's own self and others will be very different depending on the spectrum the frames of references of both are limited to. So, you may think you are smart, then you may well be, even though others dont think you are. I am raising this point (probably completely out of context) as many times smartness is confused with your IQ but is just f(IQ, EQ)/compromising abilities. :). Anyway too much digression

2. Love is limitless and you can love any and everybody....As in life, it's also something which can be won over...unless you yourself truly believe that it's not yours...

i think its out of context but align well with rumbling and muttering concept

Cuckoo said...

Hmmmm... a reflection of you. Can I ask ki kya hua ?

Are you inspired by any of my posts ? You know, I keep scribbling my thoughts like that.

I agree with R here on first pt. about smartness but not on the second point.

ashes said...

Violet,

...and sometimes I thank you for that. :)

ashes said...

Anonymous,

I wish you had disclosed your identity, although I have a vague inkling who you are. Anyways, thanks for visiting and commenting.

ashes said...

R,

Nice analysis, I must say.

Re smartness, yes, I had the non-IQ based smartness in mind when I had begun writing that. In fact, it was more of the EQ and winning-over-people stuff. The function you gave actually gives a close measurement of smartness.

Re love, I too believe it can be won over. And I think I have the caliber to do it, provided it is not a lost opportunity already.

ashes said...

Cuckoo,

Thanks for the concern, but everything is fine. This was the most decent one among my frequent outbursts.

And no Mam, after the bashing the poor chap received who published your poems, I have decided not to get inspired from you at all! I was generally in the mood and started writing in a flow, without paying much attention to how was it coming.

Rishabh Makrand said...

sometimes...kabhi kabhi...ha ha ha..
Those who are smart never think that they are.. they are Smart... for others u can say as smart hone ki khusfahmi...
for the other points you have mentioned like loneliness,going to bed,thinking,love they are really required for person.. you can say "just for a change"..
As you know change is the only Truth and its the only thing which will be always there.. when you and me wont be there..then also...

Anadi Misra said...

Funny Post! Esp. towards the end....Also liked the sentence structures, a case in point Generally you keep pondering and meditating and musing and reflecting and mulling over and ruminating and contemplating.

Other than that, no 'wisdom' to offer :D

Cuckoo said...

I think copying or stealing is different from getting inspired. :-)

"This was the most decent one among my frequent outbursts." Now, I am wondering...

sanjay said...

sometimes i wonder how you again and again manage to impress with your post :)

उन्मुक्त said...

कभी टिप्पणी करना चाहते हैं पर करते नहीं।

ashes said...

Rishabh,

You have put forth something I forgot: Change is the only Truth and its the only thing which will be always there.. Thanks.

ashes said...

Anadi,

Thanks. You are the only one who is able to see my jugular vein too. :)

kAy said...

you know its funny- i dont usually read blogs but uve commented on mine a few times and i always thought you were a Girl! but ure a guy! i like the way you write- its simple.
ps: i think everything is a relative concept actually although contradictory in some matters- does not make u a hypocrite- just brings you right back to being relative-. complex i know- lets leave it at that.

ashes said...

Sanjay,

Thanks. I see you get more impressed by my offhand writing than the ones bred on a lot of thought. :)

ashes said...

उन्मुक्त जी,

अरे टिप्पणी करना चाहते हैं तो किया कीजिये...पर चलिए कभी तो किया!

ashes said...

kAy,

That is indeed funny! But can I ask why did you feel that?

Yes, I agree, everything is relative. I would say even contradiction is relative...

Thanks for liking the post and commenting. Please keep coming.

kAy said...

okay- i have a good reason to think you weren't a dude- i admit that its a lame reason but you put a couple of exclamation marks in your comments on my blog- its a girl thing to do as far as i have observed! (<--driving my point home :P)

ashes said...

kAy,

Hmm...That's a nice logic. I realise I use that quite too often--I used that even in my reply to your last comment. I think I'll have to remove the exclamation from my list of punctuation marks, if that raises doubts on my masculinity :)

Shilpee said...

sometimes everything looks confusing .. sometimes things don't !!

ashes said...

Shilpee:

Well, now when I read this again, I find this confusing too. :) And I seem to like it that way. I remember I was in the same mood when I composed this post.

Anonymous said...

Normally I do not read post on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up
very forced me to check out and do it! Your writing taste has been amazed me.
Thanks, very nice article.

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