Saturday, August 16, 2008

Miss You, Love You, Thank You

Missing you so much, which I always do
But on this day, the whole world is you
Though it is difficult, I wish you were here
But whenever I need you, I know you'll be there.

Brother, sister, girlfriend, you've been so much
Loving, caring, understanding, encouraging and such
Covering up my shortcomings, you had so much to endure
Yet never complaining, you had a love so pure.

Ever by my side, in sunshine or in rain
With that sweet smile, you ease away all pain
A baby at times, a mother at others
You come to help me when I am in smothers.

You're the best friend I could have ever had,
The cutest companion who makes me so glad.
We share everything, and more than often we fight
But all is resolved when you kiss me good night.

You can feel my voice, you know when I lied,
You can read my face, you know when I cried,
You can sense my feelings, from a land so distant:
Whenever I think of you, you ping me that very instant.

Even when you were here, even when we're miles apart,
You shall forever remain firmly in my heart.
I shall love you always, eternity and through,
On this auspicious day, let me thank you my Baebu.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very Sweet !

Amiya Shrivastava said...

Cool Dude! I liked the poem and I can understand your feelings.

Anadi Misra said...

Man you are popular! When I started typing there were zero comments...now there are already 2.

Anywayz, nice man...Great siblings you guys must be!

Besides, I am pleasantly surprised by your talent in creating poetry...Prose, IMHO, is easier, as you just pen down your feelings in sentences, but giving it a lyrical feel is tougher...So kudos!

Usually, I don't 'get' poetry....but this one I did...Implies it must be relatable and connects with the audience...(Or I am just plain dumb and you keeping your audience in mind, dumbed it down)

Waise, a note of improvement...I think that the hardest step is to combine them so that the rhyme scheme remains the same at the end of each line...However, the next step would be to make them lyrical and yet the rhyme scheme may not conform to the traditional pattern....Agli baar yeh try karna...

Roli said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Roli said...

wow!!! mera pyara babeu... Kitna pyara surprise hai.. sabse sabse sabse hi pyara... abhi tak rakhi ka, sabse hi pyara gift hai...

meri to aankhein hi bhar aayein itni pyari si shoni si poetry padh kar... kitni sahi aur sachi hai... par baebu, tune bhi to hamesha hi mere saath diya hai, bahut hi pyara hai, thoda paglu peepu to hai hi... heheeee

tujhe yaad hai last time ka rakhi ka gift, vo meri wrist watch?

jab mere ghar mein chori ho gayi thi, noida mein... to main sabse zayad is watch ke liye pareshaan thi, aur uske liye hi royi bhi thi... par locker theek se dekha to vo chor uncle mere room ki talaashi le kar, sab samman idhar udhar karke gaye, locker ka sara samaan nikaal kar gira gaye per meri vo watch unhe dikhayi hi nahin di... aur pata nahin kaise vo use kaise chod kar chale gaye...to main to kedum khush ho gayi... kyunki mere liye to vo hi sabse kimati cheez hai...phir main baaki sab nuksaan ko bhul hi gayi hehee....

main soch rahi thi ki tere sabhi naam yahan yaad karke likh doon.. har din naya naam diya karti thi :) but then...

subah ko tujhe uthana, vo ajeeb ajeeb se ganae gana, jismein se ek hai...
utho baebu utho,
apni ankhein kholo,
aasmaan mein dekho,
apna saathi chun lo

shaam ko jab tu office se aata to chup kar baithe rehna..aur tere roz mujhe dhundna...tujhe phir zor se darana... raat mein dher saari baatein karna...and then good night kiss also...

phir mera job join karna, tab bhi roz dein mein ghantoon baatein karna, subah office pahunchte hi sabse pehle ghar par baat karna, tujhe mail, call karna... shaam ko pure din ka haal batana...

ab main thoda dur ho gayi hoon.. par haan tere dil se kabhi dur ho hi naihn sakti... tu jab bhi mujhe yaad karta hai to main appe se hi online aa jaati hoon, ya phir phone, sms kar deti hoon... :) direct dil ka connection jo hai, yehi bolta hia na tu :)

main hamesha tere saath hoon... tujhe jab bhi zaroort ho, zaroort hi kyun, mann ho na ho, main to hamesha hamesha hi mere peepu ko khush aur ekdum mast dekhna chahti hoon... to bas mujhe yaad kar aur main tere saamne...

autr thank you kyun bola hai...hamesha main aise hi bolti hoon na... chal is baar nahin bolti, aur tera thank you accept kiya... magar ab tujhe mera bhi thank you lena padega...

kyunki jab bhi main pareshaan hoti hoon to mere sabse kareeb tu hi hota hai, jise main apn emann ki saari baatein keh deti hoon, jab bhi mujhe zaroort hui, to hamesha tu hota hai... kitna bhi busy ho, mere liye to hamesha free ho hota hai...

aaj to main tujhe jab phone ki to tu ninni ninni kiya tha, malloom nahin ki tujhe yaad hai ki nahin, main to tujhe kissi bhi ki... heheeee... jabki tab to hum bahar se aaye hi the, aur tera ye blog padha hi naihn tha, phir bhi main tujhe appe se hi kissi de di... :)

meri ye chabad chabad khoob ho gayi,, ab to rukna hi padega.. nahin to pata nahin aur kya kya likh dungi...

mujhe apne pyare se, jag se nirale se, sabse hi pyare bhaiyya se.. khoob khoob pyaar hai... roli hamesha tere saath hai.. vo samjhaati bhi hai, daanti bhi hai, rulaati bhi hai, phir hansaati bhi hai... magar vo sabse zayada pyaar karti hai... Love you very much and miss you a lot... :)

last mein apne baebu ke liye ek gana jo main aksar tere liye gaati thi -

mere bhaiyya mere chanda mere anmol ratan,
tere badle mein zamaane ki koi cheez na loon...

luubu n thank you a lot
always be happy and cheerful :)

ashes said...

Anon:
Amiya:

Thanks a lot.

ashes said...

Anadi:

Thanks man. There are just a few loyal readers who come and comment :)

Giving a lyrical feel is quite tough, and I could not well achieve that here. I ended up only rhyming up in the a-a-b-b pattern, paying no heed to the meter, feet and other technicalities. As from another verse of a similar fashion I composed sometime back:
      I know only rhyming is not poetry
      But even at prose, I am quite jittery


Apart from being naïve at verse, I too am quite dumb in this field. But yes, I'll try to make them lyrical and try with different meters next time. I think one more important component is the length of each line with respect to the number of syllables.

The most difficult part is the choice of appropriate words so that all three-the meaning, length, and rhyme are taken care of.

Rashmi said...

its nice...but whn i read the heading "Miss You ,Love You,Thank You" i thought u wud just com up with diffnrt phases of life missing...loving and at last thanking .....and walking away.but its nice too.....

ashes said...

Roli:

Tujhse to ab main kya hi kahoon :) Itna kuchh tune already likh diya hai...

Mujhe sab kuchh yaad hai, woh wrist watch, woh gaane, woh sab naam, woh shaam ko tera mujhe darana, aur mera roz darr jaana :)

Haan kitna bhi door hon hum log, hamesha paas rahenge...aur tere liye to main hamesha hi free rahoonga...

Bas ab aur nahi likha ja raha :(...lubbu hamesha.

ashes said...

Rashmi:

Thanks.

What made you think so? Missing life is ok, but loving, and thanking life? And walking away? From life?

Anyways, thanks for coming. Was just curious if I knew you...

Indigo said...

A really nice poem. I could very well relate to it and could find my eyes moist by the time I reached the end.

The feeling is great, but it shows that you are a newbie in poetry. I am sure you will improve over time.

ashes said...

Indigo:

Thanks.

Yes I know, I need to learn :)

Saurabh said...

Beautiful......!

ashes said...

Saurabh:

Thanks :)

Rashmi said...

i think i had an interersing thought ...which is actually true..we all have phases in our life whn we like someone,love some other and may b marry some body else..this all go through involves lot of feelings...of departure,effection,and commitment so i just thought i it was more intersing and refreshing.

Anu said...

wow so cuteeee. nice lovely. I felt like crying padne ke bad.

ashes said...

Rashmi:

Yes, thats an interesting thought :) However, the like, love, and marry do have intersection points, if you know what I mean.

I am sorry but I did not get how does that fit in the current context...

ashes said...

Anu:

Thanks a lot. :)

Shilpee said...

amazing poetry.. sweet..simple and touching..i think its the best gift a brother can ever give to his sis..

ashes said...

Shilpee:

Thank you Shilpee.

Cuckoo said...

Just tell me where my comment has gone ? I had written a long one. :(

Anyways, I am not in a mood to repeat what I had said. But even then I must congratulate for this so touching & lovely poem.

Touched a chord. Keep writing.

ashes said...

Cuckoo:

I am sorry, but I never received your comment, not even on email. It would not have been published properly or something.

Anyways, thanks for all the effort, and all the appreciation.

Anonymous said...

too Good..:-)

ashes said...

Anonymous:

Thank you.

Post a Comment

  ©Template by Dicas Blogger.

TOPO