Blogger's Block

One may call it another chic excuse for not having blogged in a long time as against the drab I-was-very-busy and I-was-getting-married-and-honeymooning-in-Switzerland and I-was-trying-to-strike-a-work-life-balance excuses. Or one may dismiss it with the arguement that just because there is a term like that, you'd like to term your inactivity Blogger's block. And that just because you read about a condition like that, you'd condition yourself to being afflicted by it.

The condition of Writer's block, in its originality, doesn't apply to blogging, at least to Rambling Mutterings, but then I need something to mutter and scribble to break this spell of inactivity, and what is a better way of overcoming the Blogger's block by blogging about the Blogger's block. A little off track, here is a good list of tips I found for beating it.

The last time I couldn't blog for a long time I had attributed it to quarter-life-crisis. Things are pretty different now. I am happily married, have enough workload to keep me busy at work, have lots to write and share, especially in the travelogue part of my blog (yes, Switzerland indeed!), experiences of my new life and all; there are a few draft posts sitting in my blogger account that I did not complete and post lest they should have shooed away prospective brides. I had taken resolve in my last post three months ago, that was one after a gap of two months, that I shall try to post at least once a week. Almost all my readers have asked me at least once about my next post. I had many things and lots of reasons and enough time and peace of mind.

I still couldn't write.

If I try to analyse and list down reasons for it (in order to justify it to myself):

• I actually had no time when I was taking nuptial vows and was touring the Alpine land.
• Nocturnal habits die hard. I realized I was more creative in the dark, and now the nights are not that free, not that I complain.
• I used to look forward to a large chunk of time to write a new blogpost: composing, Googling and Wikiing, editing, and then posting all in one go. Drafts remain drafts for ever. Don't get those large chunks now.
• I try to come up with a well-written, complete piece of essay-like post, half-baked, hurriedly written posts are something I don't want to do.
• Didn't watch any movies, thanks to the multiplex-owners' strike and an almost diminished torrent-downloading interest among colleagues, else would have come up with some interesting movie reviews.
• I have too many topics to write upon, so when I pick up the pen, I lose interest by the time I decide which one to begin with.
• Time and again, I have this urge to split up my blog into many, a travelogue, a movie review blog, a personal one, a photography one etc. This thought hinders me from writing under the general Rambling Mutterings umbrella.

and so on and so forth.

Let me wait and see if I am able to produce more posts soon. To start with, this one is an incomplete post ending with an incomplete senten

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The Yearend Post

Reflecting upon the last year, I find that it has been quite a tumultuous one. Things happened. Shit happened. Learnt a lot. Gained a lot. Lost a lot. Made new good friends. Broke up with a very good old friend too. Handled huge responsibilities. Failed at a few. Rose again. Fell again. But then that is life. That happens all the time, but we don't stop and think about them unless it is the turn of the year. We tend to account a lot of things for this largest unit of time. Things and shit keep happening throughout, we never list them otherwise. This fact irks me the same way it irks Dhirendra Kumar of valueresearchonline.com when everybody celebrates the Sensex passing the 13000 or the 16000 mark, or any other thousand. And that is why I was reluctant to write a year-end post.

Come year end and you have all sorts of lists being compiled up from all directions and on all media. As the clock ticks away to the last few moments of 2008, I am thinking about my lists. I had wanted to blog about my favourite movies, my top-ten songs, my most memorable moments, best blogposts I read, coolest photographs I clicked, my resolutions, things I want to improve next year, basically tens of top-ten lists of the departing year and lists of resolutions for the new year in gestation. But I was either short on time or deprived of genuine inclination. Or maybe I could not decide where to begin, what to pick first from amongst the plethora of ideas I had in mind.

Anyway, however hard I might try not to, I cannot stop myself from considering the new year as a fresh start in life. Have many things in mind, haven't listed them though. Listing them and not being able to fulfil them hurts. But sometime or the other, I need to list them down, else I'd forget them. And I'll have to fulfil what I list. Oops...I already listed down the first and the most important resolution. Before I end up listing a few more of my (dark) secrets, let me wish you all a Happy New Year and bid 2008 adieu!

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Sometimes

Sometimes you think you are smart. You have wrong notions about yourself, and there is no one to correct you. You live your entire life with those wrong notions and die with them.

Sometimes you think you are lonely. You know you are, and you desperately try to get rid of either the loneliness or at least the thought. You find someone and the loneliness evaporates. Or you find some engagement and the thought vanishes. But sooner or later, that someone goes away. Or they find some engagement. Or your engagement finishes off. You are back to being lonely again.

Sometimes you go to bed early. You generally do not. Often you don't even try. Keep up and waste time. You vow everyday you'll sleep before midnight or do something worthwhile, but you somehow never manage that.

Sometimes you try not to think. Generally you keep pondering and meditating and musing and reflecting and mulling over and ruminating and contemplating. Often you don't even try not to think. Your thoughts keep fluttering randomly. Keep disturbing you. You daydream or get depressed or plan or fret.

Sometimes you love someone. You know they do not, but you do. Unrequited is the word. But that knowledge doesn't stop you from loving them even if you know there is no future.

Sometimes someone does that to you. You reciprocate back. But you still do not hold your feelings back for the old one.

Sometimes you watch movies. You generally do not. But you always want to. And sometimes you find company. And you watch them. Then they go to sleep. You stay up. Chat with a close pal. Start thinking. And then you compose this "off the split-ends of your long hair" post.