Chandni Chowk To China

Under normal circumstances, I would have waited for Chandni Chowk to China to be chipped off on DVD or torrent but RS insisted and I could not resist. So we went off on a rather busy Sunday for this over-hyped, widest-US-opener-Bollywood-film, first-Indian-movie-shot-in-China, first-Warner-Bros.-Hindi-movie, that managed to make 33 crores on the opening weekend owing to expensive multiplex tickets in India and some more crores out of tickets sold in USDs.

The new mantra of Bollywood is: have star, will sell. It doesn't matter how much amount of crap you fit in. Yuvraaj, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, Ghajini, and now Chandni Chowk To China. Akshay Kumar has carved his way into stardom no less than the Khans, in fact deeper than a few of them.

CC2C goes a step ahead in trying out something new. Blends of kungfu and bhangra, a rustic Delhi vegetable cutter and rural Chinese vegetable sellers, chequered shirts and flowered mandarin gowns add a lot of colour and vigour to the streets of Chandni Chowk and The Great Wall of China. Amid all this you'll find a bumpkin of Akshay Kumar duped into travelling to Chinkiland and falling into a kumbh-ka-mela-separation-revenge sequence that is intelligently weaved into funny antics and a few serious action scenes after a prolonged practice session.

The opening scene of the war on the Great Wall of China had actually thrilled me. Brilliantly shot in shades of gray and a lot of mist, it reminded me of scenes in movies like Gladiator. However, that excitement slacked as soon as the scene shifts to the present Chandni Chowk. Zooming in and out of Delhi as Akshay flies up with smoke-propelling rockets up his you-know-where and falls down on earth, sets that do not quite look like Chandni Chowk, and very stupid TV ads, the movie moves on to a very jittery pace that makes you look lustfully at the Exit doors. However, the pace is checked as the plot shifts back to China and you are glad you didn't satisfy yourself.

If you liked one or more of Singh is King, Welcome, or Golmaal Returns, you will like CC2C's comedy too. You'll find Akshay Kumar blabbering and jumping with his gaon-waali-moustache and punditji-plait, using physical jokes a la Jim Carrey, though much more gimcrack and much less witty. Akki is the only one acting funny though, most of the other characters are serious and genuine, though humour has been attempted by mocking Chinese stunts you'd seen in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and the like. A few of these and other comic stunts would look good only in Tom and Jerry. In short, a lot of nonsensical comedy in a make-believe setting.

Deepika Padukone simply looks stunning in both her Indian and Chinese avatars. The long-legged lass kicks butt the martial arts way where she looks as sexy as Charlize Theron in Aeonflux, though her newly-developed skills could have been used for a longer screen time. Ranveer Shourey wastes himself being a loser sidekick the way pal Vinay Pathak did in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. Actors like them should not try to enter mainstream cinema; they know they cannot look better here, these roles do not demand good acting, and they lose the already niche audience their kind of cinema has.

The music is mediocre, and I had dismissed it initially. But when you keep listening to it, you start liking it. The extra rap song by Akshay was fresh, and the mixing of Chinese rhythms added a new form. The melodious Tere Naina is pleasant to hear to, a few others by Kailash Kher.

Overall, CC2C can be a one-time watch that will sure fetch you some giggles and laughs. Talk of cinema that will be remembered, and you'll have to be content that films like Chupke Chupke and Andaz Apna Apna were made only in yore. Watch it out in a light mood with friends and you might agree for a 6 on 10.

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